Texted about being the other man
(A friend recently slept with a visiting girl who has a serious boyfriend. He didn't know her before the night they had sex and he doesn't personally know the boyfriend. This was our conversation a day after the incident.)
- Him:
So, I mean ... An entire afternoon / evening of texting and then an hour and a half late night phone call with a girl who lives in Ohio with a boyfriend; that's a reasonable thing to do, right?
- Me:
Nope. You're an idiot for all of that.
- Him:
Yup.
- Me:
You have to cut this off. This isn't smart or beneficial to either of you. And she obviously won't stop. So you have to do the right thing.
- Him:
Elope? Make it official?
- Me:
Sigh. Your head has to override your heart with rationality at some point.
- Him:
That's a depressingly pragmatic thing to say.
- Me:
Well someone has to say it. Just nip it in the bud. No good will come of continuing.
- Him:
When we got off the phone, it was with the understanding that we couldn't keep talking. She said she was going to put me in a little box and stow me away permanently.
- Me:
That's good.
- Him:
Five minutes later, she texted me "Not okay to wonder about sober sex..."
- Me:
I hope you didn't respond. But know you did.
- Him:
OF COURSE I RESPONDED. But tactfully. Ish. I didn't mention sex, at least.
- Me:
She wants an emotional connection to you despite being emotionally and physically unavailable. So she'll keep going indefinitely if you let her. So to what end will you keep going to?
- Him:
Agony and inspiration.
- Him:
This fucking blows. And yet, I'm beside myself.
- Me:
Just don't get hurt and don't hurt her in the meantime
- Him:
Who sets out to hurt / get hurt?
- Me:
Who said that's the intent? It's a byproduct of your lust for each other. Inevitably, it has to be. If your feelings fade or if hers do.
- Him:
Well, sure. But you said it as an imperative: Don't get hurt, don't hurt her. Two things that are largely out of my control.
- Me:
Untrue. You can control it by ending it.
- Him:
Which, heh, would hurt.
- Me:
Not as much as it would two months from now.
- Him:
This hardly seems sustainable. It may all fade by the end of the week. Well, off to bed, stupid and content.
- Me:
Haaa. Nite.
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deneaneclark said:
This is why i don’t believe in serious relationships. Or requited love. The unrequited stuff is way hotter.
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