This is funny. 

Her: I liked him. I liked everyone. 

Me: You’re Canadian. That’s your default setting. 

Dated with the Tumblr

I have. Several times. 

I met thefrenemy a while ago for a date and had a lovely time. She’s a fantastic person, a tremendously gifted writer and you should follow her/buy her inspiring book/send her wheels of cheese. She wrote about our evening over here. We still talk and I’m looking forward to devouring her next tome. 

I met datebynumbers for a date. We, uh, didn’t quite hit it off. Though, as she suggests, my dickish pre-date banter led to her standoffishness on the actual outing. And she would be right. I was a dick. And for that, I owe her an apology. She’s currently doing splendid things on the West coast, and scribing about them beautifully. She’s got a book in the works and I’m sure it will be nothing short of fantastic. 

I exchanged several steamy pictures with therealkatiewest over text for a bit, but Katie and I never actually met. 

I asked out tmpls, but she only laughed and inquired as to my borough of residence. My subsequent replies were unrequited. A shame, since she really got my sapiosexual motor running. 

I attempted to meet another follower several times, but she never could follow through with our plans and stood me up twice. Shortly after the last failed meeting, I discovered most of the photos she’d sent of herself were culled from various advertisements and chalked it all up to one big catfish. 

And lastly, there’s one follower who I’ve met off and on for about five years. Apropos of nothing, she sent me a video in which she asked to meet. That led to some FaceTiming and eventually a perfect whirlwind weekend together. We’ve met about a dozen times since then and chat often. She’d likely not appreciate her URL being shared, so I will only say that she’s one of my favorite people in the world and seeing her smile makes my own grow wider. While we’re separated by a sizable geographic expanse, she has always remained close to my heart. 

Orlando Bloom is out there doing God’s work. Bless him. 

Took over my lady friend’s Tinder. 

Anonymous
Did you have a good week last week?!

GET OFF MY TUMBLR, MOM.  

Anonymous
when I'm waiting in a line to pee I think about things from sex and my role in humanity, to what my life would be like if I'd made certain different choices. What do you think of when waiting in a line to pee?

If it’s a single toilet: “God, I hope this guy in front of me doesn’t have to poop.”

If it’s a urinal situation: “God, I hope these guys don’t look at my junk.”

My knowledge of athletic competitions is limited.